Stress.. that's all.

I haven't blogged in a long time it seems, I just don't have time anymore . The semester is fixing to be over though, with today being the last day of classes and next week is finals week. Luckily I only have three finals, one on Monday and two on Wednesday then I'm done! I'm hoping that I will be able to blog more this summer. I have a feeling that it will be very, very busy as well!


I have also been very stressed out the last couple of days.. You would think that I wouldn't be with my wedding coming up and what not, but believe me.. I am. I can't help it, I have always been the stressed out type. College plays a big role in this.. Like I mentioned earlier I have almost completed my first semester of college, only seven more to go.... To me that sounds so depressing. From my experiences so far, I have come to the conclusion that college is a waste of my time right now.. I think maybe that I jumped into it to fast. I started 20 days after I graduated high school.. I thought it would be fun! I had some classes with a close friend of mine but after four months, I've had enough.
When I was in high school, I was a perfectionist. Everything was a competition and I had to be the best at it; my grades included. During my entire high school career, the lowest grade I ever received was a 93% which happened to be a spanish class I believe. When I went to public school, I had a GPA or 4.08 average and was ranked 4th in my class of 90 students. I strove to be the best but never quite made it. Now-a-days.. I don't care about that anymore. Life isn't school and it doesn't matter what "grade," I get. For some reason this goes for college as well.. I just don't have the heart for it anymore, I don't want it to be a competition anymore.
My classes for this semester consisted of General Animal Science plus a lab, Zoology plus a lab, Psychology, Univeristy Alegebra, and a weight training course. 16 hours in total, five days a week. Ansc was not all that bad, I knew most of the stuff that we talked about, although it did make me upset sometimes when the professor told us something that was all wrong, or that I thought was wrong. (I was told to keep an open mind and I did just that) The lab was alright to, we did get to do somethings outside of the classroom like palpate heifers and sheer sheep. Zoology was a bust in my opinion. The professor was one of the most unhappiest person I have ever seen. He was always late to class and never had any fun in class! This made it extremely boring so my learning capacity went out the window.. I tried to learn, I tried to study but in the end.. it was not good. The lab for Zoo was also quite interesting, I did fairly well in this class because the TA's made it fun and therefore I had a will to learn. And I found out that I can't handle to smell of rats soaked in formaldehyde. Yuck! Psychology is another story, it was interesting but I didn't like it.. end of story. Algebra? Don't get me started.. I used to love math and algebra in high school! Not anymore >:(  I thought I would fly through that class and Ace it. Boy was I wrong.. I kid you not, I knew everything that we discussed in class.. Everything! and yet it's possible that I may have to retake it! Of course if the professor wasn't such a loon.. I shouldn't be mean but she was one of those people that is very neurotic about math

All in all... I believe that I have disappointed my parents, wasted their money and wasted my time. I am seriously considering not going back next semester for reason's that are my own. I have been praying about it a lot but hopefully this summer I can figure it out...

I won't bore you with college nonsense any longer but it is the number one stress item on my list. The second is my fiancee. I don't know what I am going to do with him. He is having trouble with his stomach and keeping on weight. How is it possible that he weighs Less than I do? That's not right... I worry about him about he worries about things to the point of making himself sick. I've been praying for him as well.

That is all I really have to say tonight. It's almost midnight and I have to work tomorrow. So good night all!