Now I know that was almost two weeks ago but I have been busy/recovering since she was born and haven't really had time or wanted to sit down and blog. But now I am!
So I guess I'll share my birth story now, it's up to ya'll if you want to continue reading! :P
Sunday, May 18th started out a normal day, we got up and I made breakfast, ironed cloths and got our little family of three ready for church. By the time we got in the pickup and made the 20 minute drive to church I was exhausted. I tried to close my eyes for a bit but the dirt road was to bumpy.
When we got there I had to sit in the very back at the picnic tables because I was uncomfortable sitting in the regular chairs, and I had to frequently get up and walk around. I guess I looked worse than I really thought because people kept telling me I looked super tired and ready for Miss T to get here! After church we went right home and had dinner, mostly leftovers because I didn't feel like cooking. I started nesting too and did some laundry, picked up a bit, but that made me even more tired.
Now, before I continue, the following Sunday night I had a false alarm, I started having contractions that lasted about 5-7 minutes for several hours, but they never would get more intense. I called my midwife and she started my way but after about an hour I called her again and told her not to come. This just was not it, and boy was I frustrated!
About four days later I had false labor again, the same deal as last time. I didn't even call my midwife that time. I went for a long walk and the contractions died out.
Then on Saturday, I started having them again! At this point they were getting very aggravating because I wanted so badly for it to be the real thing! I made T drive me around all his waters on the roughest road to try and help things along, then when we got home I bounced on my exercise ball for about 3 hours. Still no progress and I cried.
This brings us back to Sunday afternoon, I started having contractions again, but these were a little different. They were coming about every three minutes but they still were not that intense. I went ahead and called my midwife and she told me that I was experiencing prodromal labor. I had never even heard the term before and when I looked it up in my baby book, it basically said that its pre-labor, or false labor that doesn't go away. It dilates your cervix some and uses up all your energy before real labor starts.
It all made sense then! Why I was so tired and worn out that is. My midwife told me a few things to try and help real labor set in, but she said not to count on it.
So, I tried what she told me to do, and then I laid down for a nap. I slept for about an hour when I was woke up by more intense contractions, still coming at three minutes apart. It was 3:00 in the afternoon. I decided to go for a walk to see if they would die out, since that was what I had done before, but after a mile they were still coming and it was getting hard to walk. When I got back to the house I called my midwife again and she said for the contractions to be that close together, I should be in a lot more pain. At my request, she sent the intern that lives in Alpine out to the house to "check," me.
When she got there, she said I was 2 cm dilated and 0% effaced. This was still prodromal labor and I cried again.
The rest of the afternoon was depressing for me, I couldn't get the contractions to stop and it was making it hard to do anything, especially sleep! Walking didn't help, the exercise ball didn't help, a warm bath didn't even help. I decided to go lay down and use these contractions to practice what I had been reading about in all the birthing books my midwife gave me. Then finally about 9:00 pm, they started to slack off, but the intensity stayed the same. First they went to 5-7 minutes apart, then to 10-12 minutes apart, but they never did die off completely.
I called my midwife once again and told her what was happening and she said she would come down and see if she could help me out. She also sent the intern back out and told me to go ahead and set up the birthing pool.
I called my folks and let them know what was going on and they came out and got K man. My dad took him back to town and my mom started cleaning my house...
My midwife got to the house about midnight and they checked me again. This time I was still 2 cm dilated, but about 80% effaced. That was quite amazing actually, that my cervix had effaced that much with very little contractions! I was hopeful again!
Now it was just a waiting game; my midwife said I should try and get some sleep. I went to bed, and they all bedded down in my living room. From down the hall I could hear someone snoring!
I was restless and couldn't get any sleep! I knew I would pay for it later so I tried very hard, but every time I would drift off I would have another contraction.
At 2:00 am I finally got up and very quietly went into our "office," sat on the exercise ball and listened to the fish tank. Contractions were getting more intense and after another hour I asked to get in the birthing pool.
Let me just say, that water felt amazing! My midwife said that for a little while I would only feel a third of the contractions, and I didn't! I was very hopeful now and tried to relax during each contraction so they could do their job.
About every hour the interns would check my vitals, and babies vitals and they would make me get out and "void." I didn't like getting out! I could feel the full force of the contractions every time I did! My mom and T would take turns sitting with me, making sure I drank plenty of water and had small bites of banana.
At about 5:00 am, the contractions started coming faster and harder, and that was when the back labor set in. I loathe back labor and it was very, very painful. So painful in fact that when my midwife offered to do saline solution injections in my back to numb the pain, I was all for it. It hurt SO bad! Like being stung by several bees at one time! But after a few minutes the pain died and I was able to concentrate on relaxing again. The sad thing though, the injections only lasted about an hour a half, and when they offered to do it again, of course I said yes.
That was when things started going downhill. I cried while they injected the solution, and when I got back in the pool the back pain got ten times worse! I couldn't help but cry after each contraction. I had them check me again, and this time I was 6 cm dilated and 100 % effaced and they seemed a little concerned that I wasn't farther along.
It was about 7:00 am now, they checked my vitals and the babies, and I knew something was up.
My midwife told me that I shouldn't be having this much back labor and that every time I had a contractions, the babies heart rate would go way up in the 190's range. She said it was time for me to go to the hospital to get some relief. My contractions had slowed way down too, going from every 5 mins back to every 10.. It was very strange.
Of course this made my cry even more, and me being me the first thing that came to my mind was that our insurance wouldn't cover a hospital stay and that stressed me out. T packed me a bag and we loaded up in the truck and raced to town. My midwife had called ahead and they were waiting for me when we pulled up to the hospital at 7:45 am.
On the drive into town, my contractions picked up, as did the back labor and when I got settled in the delivery room my midwife said I was experiencing sciatic nerve pain. Every time I had a contraction, the pain in my back was so bad that I was basically screaming. It would shoot down both of my legs to my knees and hurt worse than anything I have ever experienced. I was crying nonstop now and when they offered me an epidural I said yes.
Now what was going on in that delivery room was nothing but pure chaos.
It seemed like it took the nurses forever to get the iv in and the paperwork signed and I was having to do it all while having the worst contractions in history! I was screaming/crying during each one and about seven different people were telling me to stay calm. I remember while they were trying to get me to sign the paperwork for the epidural, I had a contraction and that urge to push overcame me; I knew this was it!
I was yelling at the nurses that I needed to push, and what did they do? They told me not too! I had to though! When the urge is there, there is nothing to stop it! After another contraction and HUGE urge to push, the nurse told me that my doctor, Dr. Luecke was on his way. Two more contractions came and I was screaming, "Where is Dr. Luecke!." All the nurses could say was, "He's coming!" I was also screaming for some sort of pain relief, and they gave me a shot of Demerol and instantly I that dark cloud over your head feeling come over me, just like before, and my hands and face started to tingle. Needless to say, it didn't help much.
Finally Dr. Luecke showed up and this is what I remember: He was wearing a T-shirt and shorts, his hair was standing straight up on his head and he was trying to catch his breath from running. A nurse put his gown on, another contraction came, I screamed and pushed and Dr. Luecke barely got his hands where they needed to be when Miss T's head emerged. With one more small push the rest of her came out, and she was screaming!
When K man was born, it took him a few minutes before he started to cry, but when his sister was born, she was barely out and screaming as loudly as her little lungs would allow. They set her on my belly and I remember thinking she's to tiny, why is she so small? And why wouldn't she stop screaming? My midwife suggested I start nursing her, and she immediately latched on. She was born at 8:41 am and was nursing at 8:45am.
I was still crying but I didn't have anymore tears to cry so it sounded like I was wheezing and I knew I looked pathetic but I didn't care. The pain had stopped and Miss T was here. Oh, and not two minutes after she was born, the anesthesiologist walked and said, "I'm here to do an epidural?" He was quickly ushered out.
I had to push one more time to deliver the placenta and when Dr. Luecke held it up for us to see, it was very small, just like Miss T. Even the umbilical cord was little, and very short! It was a little over a foot long. Dr. Luecke told me I had her on a short leash.
After T cut the cord, they spent some time cleaning me up, said I didn't tear this time like I did with K man! They had to give me Pitocin too because I guess I was bleeding pretty good.
I don't really remember what all went on after she was born because I couldn't take my eyes off Miss T. After she finished nursing I just held her close to me, skin to skin and looked at her. She had a lot of very dark hair on her head, and the tiniest toes you have ever seen. My mom and T were taking pictures, my midwife was saying how beautiful she was, but that was about all I remember. All I cared about was that she was here.
Minutes after she was born. T, my mom and my midwife
I know it's been two weeks already, but I still get emotional thinking about the whole thing. It did not go as I had wanted it to. My only goal with this birth was to be relaxed when active labor set in and when it came time to push. I felt like I had made a fool of myself when K was born and I wanted to do it better this go round. I felt confident that I could relax, that I could be calm and let the contractions do what they were meant to do. But when they told me that I had to go to the hospital, my confidence shattered. I knew it would be just like last time, I knew that I would have a death grip on the side of the bed and my relaxation methods wouldn't work. But most of all I was disappointed with myself that I couldn't do a homebirth, that I didn't get to experience an easier labor.
When it was all said and done, I labored for 17 hours total. With K man I labored for 13 hours. The good thing about this time was that I only had to push twice, as with K man I pushed for an hour and half.
Monday afternoon when my midwife came to check on my she told that when Miss T was born, she had she little hand balled up next to her ear, and it was very white because all the blood had been squeezed out of it. She explained that this was why I was having such terrible back labor, because that hand was up where it didn't need to be, and it was on the downside, pressing on my sciatic nerve. It explained a lot really, why I hurt so much, and my midwife made sure to say that that more than likely wouldn't happen again. She also said the ride down our bumpy dirt road is was straighten her out and my the contractions pick back up. So other than having the terrible back labor, I could of had her at home.
I'm still struggling with the fact that I made a fool of myself yet again, buy screaming hysterically and what not, but if you were in that much pain, I'm sure you would have done the same thing.
I am NOT disappointed with the results of this labor though. I have a beautiful, healthy baby girl I get to hold and look at every day. Other than being a little jaundice, she is perfect. I have a love for her that I can't describe, and when her daddy looks at her, my heart just melts!
Meeting brother for the first time
He's not in love or anything :)
God works in mysterious way, does He not? Whenever we have a plan, and our mind is so focused on said plan, one tends not to worry about when things don't go as planned. He reminded me with this experience that I am not the one in control, that He is. I tend to want to do what I want, and even though I prayed about the whole birthing at home experience and felt that it was right, it wasn't in the end. But I'm glad that He was in control, and that we are all safe and healthy. Would I do it again? Try to birth at home? I don't know honestly, but I do know that I would like to try it again, whether it be a home or the hopsital....
Well I've wrote ya'll a book here, and your probably tired of reading so I'll say good night, and here are a few more pictures to enjoy. :)