Sunday, June 1, 2014

Miss T is Here!

Miss T made her way into this world May 19th, 2014 at 8:41 am!

Now I know that was almost two weeks ago but I have been busy/recovering since she was born and haven't really had time or wanted to sit down and blog. But now I am!

She weighed a whooping 5 lbs, 12 oz! She was so tiny and I was not expecting that at all, but I should have known she would be little. This was my belly shot the day before I went into labor...

Not very big at all huh? I only gained 24 pounds with her, as with K man I gained 31. Of course she had dropped big time in this picture, but I'm still not very big.

So I guess I'll share my birth story now, it's up to ya'll if you want to continue reading! :P

Sunday, May 18th started out a normal day, we got up and I made breakfast, ironed cloths and got our little family of three ready for church. By the time we got in the pickup and made the 20 minute drive to church I was exhausted. I tried to close my eyes for a bit but the dirt road was to bumpy.
When we got there I had to sit in the very back at the picnic tables because I was uncomfortable sitting in the regular chairs, and I had to frequently get up and walk around. I guess I looked worse than I really thought because people kept telling me I looked super tired and ready for Miss T to get here! After church we went right home and had dinner, mostly leftovers because I didn't feel like cooking. I started nesting too and did some laundry, picked up a bit, but that made me even more tired.
Now, before I continue, the following Sunday night I had a false alarm, I started having contractions that lasted about 5-7 minutes for several hours, but they never would get more intense. I called my midwife and she started my way but after about an hour I called her again and told her not to come. This just was not it, and boy was I frustrated!
About four days later I had false labor again, the same deal as last time. I didn't even call my midwife that time. I went for a long walk and the contractions died out.
Then on Saturday, I started having them again! At this point they were getting very aggravating because I wanted so badly for it to be the real thing! I made T drive me around all his waters on the roughest road to try and help things along, then when we got home I bounced on my exercise ball for about 3 hours. Still no progress and I cried.
This brings us back to Sunday afternoon, I started having contractions again, but these were a little different. They were coming about every three minutes but they still were not that intense. I went ahead and called my midwife and she told me that I was experiencing prodromal labor. I had never even heard the term before and when I looked it up in my baby book, it basically said that its pre-labor, or false labor that doesn't go away. It dilates your cervix some and uses up all your energy before real labor starts.
It all made sense then! Why I was so tired and worn out that is. My midwife told me a few things to try and help real labor set in, but she said not to count on it.
So, I tried what she told me to do, and then I laid down for a nap. I slept for about an hour when I was woke up by more intense contractions, still coming at three minutes apart. It was 3:00 in the afternoon. I decided to go for a walk to see if they would die out, since that was what I had done before, but after a mile they were still coming and it was getting hard to walk. When I got back to the house I called my midwife again and she said for the contractions to be that close together, I should be in a lot more pain. At my request, she sent the intern that lives in Alpine out to the house to "check," me.
When she got there, she said I was 2 cm dilated and 0% effaced. This was still prodromal labor and I cried again.
The rest of the afternoon was depressing for me, I couldn't get the contractions to stop and it was making it hard to do anything, especially sleep! Walking didn't help, the exercise ball didn't help, a warm bath didn't even help. I decided to go lay down and use these contractions to practice what I had been reading about in all the birthing books my midwife gave me. Then finally about 9:00 pm, they started to slack off, but the intensity stayed the same. First they went to 5-7 minutes apart, then to 10-12 minutes apart, but they never did die off completely.
I called my midwife once again and told her what was happening and she said she would come down and see if she could help me out. She also sent the intern back out and told me to go ahead and set up the birthing pool.
I called my folks and let them know what was going on and they came out and got K man. My dad took him back to town and my mom started cleaning my house...
My midwife got to the house about midnight and they checked me again. This time I was still 2 cm dilated, but about 80% effaced. That was quite amazing actually, that my cervix had effaced that much with very little contractions! I was hopeful again!
Now it was just a waiting game; my midwife said I should try and get some sleep. I went to bed, and they all bedded down in my living room. From down the hall I could hear someone snoring!
I was restless and couldn't get any sleep! I knew I would pay for it later so I tried very hard, but every time I would drift off I would have another contraction.
At 2:00 am I finally got up and very quietly went into our "office," sat on the exercise ball and listened to the fish tank. Contractions were getting more intense and after another hour I asked to get in the birthing pool.
Let me just say, that water felt amazing! My midwife said that for a little while I would only feel a third of the contractions, and I didn't! I was very hopeful now and tried to relax during each contraction so they could do their job.
About every hour the interns would check my vitals, and babies vitals and they would make me get out and "void." I didn't like getting out! I could feel the full force of the contractions every time I did! My mom and T would take turns sitting with me, making sure I drank plenty of water and had small bites of banana.
At about 5:00 am, the contractions started coming faster and harder, and that was when the back labor set in. I loathe back labor and it was very, very painful. So painful in fact that when my midwife offered to do saline solution injections in my back to numb the pain, I was all for it. It hurt SO bad! Like being stung by several bees at one time! But after a few minutes the pain died and I was able to concentrate on relaxing again. The sad thing though, the injections only lasted about an hour a half, and when they offered to do it again, of course I said yes.
That was when things started going downhill. I cried while they injected the solution, and when I got back in the pool the back pain got ten times worse! I couldn't help but cry after each contraction. I had them check me again, and this time I was 6 cm dilated and 100 % effaced and they seemed a little concerned that I wasn't farther along. 
It was about 7:00 am now, they checked my vitals and the babies, and I knew something was up.
My midwife told me that I shouldn't be having this much back labor and that every time I had a contractions, the babies heart rate would go way up in the 190's range. She said it was time for me to go to the hospital to get some relief. My contractions had slowed way down too, going from every 5 mins back to every 10.. It was very strange.
Of course this made my cry even more, and me being me the first thing that came to my mind was that our insurance wouldn't cover a hospital stay and that stressed me out. T packed me a bag and we loaded up in the truck and raced to town. My midwife had called ahead and they were waiting for me when we pulled up to the hospital at 7:45 am.
On the drive into town, my contractions picked up, as did the back labor and when I got settled in the delivery room my midwife said I was experiencing sciatic nerve pain. Every time I had a contraction, the pain in my back was so bad that I was basically screaming. It would shoot down both of my legs to my knees and hurt worse than anything I have ever experienced. I was crying nonstop now and when they offered me an epidural I said yes.
Now what was going on in that delivery room was nothing but pure chaos.
It seemed like it took the nurses forever to get the iv in and the paperwork signed and I was having to do it all while having the worst contractions in history! I was screaming/crying during each one and about seven different people were telling me to stay calm. I remember while they were trying to get me to sign the paperwork for the epidural, I had a contraction and that urge to push overcame me; I knew this was it!
I was yelling at the nurses that I needed to push, and what did they do? They told me not too! I had to though! When the urge is there, there is nothing to stop it! After another contraction and HUGE urge to push, the nurse told me that my doctor, Dr. Luecke was on his way. Two more contractions came and I was screaming, "Where is Dr. Luecke!." All the nurses could say was, "He's coming!" I was also screaming for some sort of pain relief, and they gave me a shot of Demerol and instantly I that dark cloud over your head feeling come over me, just like before, and my hands and face started to tingle. Needless to say, it didn't help much.
Finally Dr. Luecke showed up and this is what I remember: He was wearing a T-shirt and shorts, his hair was standing straight up on his head and he was trying to catch his breath from running. A nurse put his gown on, another contraction came, I screamed and pushed and Dr. Luecke barely got his hands where they needed to be when Miss T's head emerged. With one more small push the rest of her came out, and she was screaming!
When K man was born, it took him a few minutes before he started to cry, but when his sister was born, she was barely out and screaming as loudly as her little lungs would allow. They set her on my belly and I remember thinking she's to tiny, why is she so small? And why wouldn't she stop screaming? My midwife suggested I start nursing her, and she immediately latched on. She was born at 8:41 am and was nursing at 8:45am.
I was still crying but I didn't have anymore tears to cry so it sounded like I was wheezing and I knew I looked pathetic but I didn't care. The pain had stopped and Miss T was here. Oh, and not two minutes after she was born, the anesthesiologist walked and said, "I'm here to do an epidural?" He was quickly ushered out.
I had to push one more time to deliver the placenta and when Dr. Luecke held it up for us to see, it was very small, just like Miss T. Even the umbilical cord was little, and very short! It was a little over a foot long. Dr. Luecke told me I had her on a short leash.
After T cut the cord, they spent some time cleaning me up, said I didn't tear this time like I did with K man! They had to give me Pitocin too because I guess I was bleeding pretty good.
I don't really remember what all went on after she was born because I couldn't take my eyes off Miss T. After she finished nursing I just held her close to me, skin to skin and looked at her. She had a lot of very dark hair on her head, and the tiniest toes you have ever seen. My mom and T were taking pictures, my midwife was saying how beautiful she was, but that was about all I remember. All I cared about was that she was here.

Minutes after she was born. T, my mom and my midwife

I know it's been two weeks already, but I still get emotional thinking about the whole thing. It did not go as I had wanted it to. My only goal with this birth was to be relaxed when active labor set in and when it came time to push. I felt like I had made a fool of myself when K was born and I wanted to do it better this go round. I felt confident that I could relax, that I could be calm and let the contractions do what they were meant to do. But when they told me that I had to go to the hospital, my confidence shattered. I knew it would be just like last time, I knew that I would have a death grip on the side of the bed and my relaxation methods wouldn't work. But most of all I was disappointed with myself that I couldn't do a homebirth, that I didn't get to experience an easier labor.
When it was all said and done, I labored for 17 hours total. With K man I labored for 13 hours. The good thing about this time was that I only had to push twice, as with K man I pushed for an hour and half.
Monday afternoon when my midwife came to check on my she told that when Miss T was born, she had she little hand balled up next to her ear, and it was very white because all the blood had been squeezed out of it. She explained that this was why I was having such terrible back labor, because that hand was up where it didn't need to be, and it was on the downside, pressing on my sciatic nerve. It explained a lot really, why I hurt so much, and my midwife made sure to say that that more than likely wouldn't happen again. She also said the ride down our bumpy dirt road is was straighten her out and my the contractions pick back up. So other than having the terrible back labor, I could of had her at home.
I'm still struggling with the fact that I made a fool of myself yet again, buy screaming hysterically and what not, but if you were in that much pain, I'm sure you would have done the same thing.
I am NOT disappointed with the results of this labor though. I have a beautiful, healthy baby girl I get to hold and look at every day. Other than being a little jaundice, she is perfect. I have a love for her that I can't describe, and when her daddy looks at her, my heart just melts!

Meeting brother for the first time
He's not in love or anything :)

God works in mysterious way, does He not? Whenever we have a plan, and our mind is so focused on said plan, one tends not to worry about when things don't go as planned. He reminded me with this experience that I am not the one in control, that He is. I tend to want to do what I want, and even though I prayed about the whole birthing at home experience and felt that it was right, it wasn't in the end. But I'm glad that He was in control, and that we are all safe and healthy. Would I do it again? Try to birth at home? I don't know honestly, but I do know that I would like to try it again, whether it be a home or the hopsital....
Well I've wrote ya'll a book here, and your probably tired of reading so I'll say good night, and here are a few more pictures to enjoy. :)


Monday, April 7, 2014

Well, yeah I'm back again!

It has been forever since I've blogged, like 3 months! I forget that I can get on here and rant and rave about stuff and it makes me feel better! Ha! Of course I have lots to catch ya'll up on, such as I'm as big as a house, or feel like it anyways.

I hit 33 weeks on Saturday, and am finally starting to show for real! Before it just depended on what I ate that day. It seems like time has flown by up until this point, and the next 7 weeks are going to drag on forever........

My midwife made it out to my house for the first time today. She was absolutely in love with the place and said how exciting this birth was going to be in such a cool, old house! I sure hope its exciting... I've been fretting over silly things for a couple of weeks now. Things I shouldn't even get worked up about. Like pain, for example. I know pain is part of it, there's no avoiding it. Unless you want to pump yourself full of drugs and numb yourself, even your memory. Umm.. no thanks.

Anyways, I remember the pain with K man and I think that is what has me worked up, the thought of having to go through it again. Of course, it wasn't pushing that was painful, it was getting to the point where I could push! My midwife assures me that I will be fine though.

I've really been reading up on this book called The Bradley Method. Out of the stack of books my midwife gave me to read, I think it's my favorite. It has relaxation methods in that I have been practicing and I really like so far! I will do one certain method at night where you lay on your side and don't let any part of your body touch another part and slowly go through your whole body releasing tension. It must work because every night I've practiced it I usually fall asleep not knowing it and wake up thinking about how I need to finish releasing tension!

My biggest fear at this point is that I won't be able to relax. When I was in labor with K man, the last few hours before I started to push were hard because I couldn't relax. I remember having a death grip on the side of the hospital bed and rocking back and forth. I really don't want to do that again, I want to be relaxed dang it! Being at home, and having soft lighting and only my husband and midwife around should help me relax. Or I hope it does.

The book also says that being mentally prepared helps tremendously! If I can mentally conquer my fears and relaxation techniques, I feel like I can have a successful birth! Now I just need to get my "coach," mentally prepared.. He has been slacking on the job! Ha!

I've also realized that I never wrote a birth story with K man, so I will definitely be doing that with miss T! I think I could write one for him, even two years later! Being pregnant has brought back all the memories so I think I'll go work on that.. :)

I'll try to post some pictures later of the past few months!

Thursday, January 2, 2014

I'm back

It's been a while hasn't it? I haven't blogged in a long time, and I don't really feel that bad about it!
You see, I type on a computer all day at work and when I come home I don't really feel like typing any more. Don't get me wrong, I love to blog and write stories but I can only handle so much typing.

But anyways!! I would post a bunch of pictures but most of you see them on IG or Twitter. I may try to post a few tomorrow or something but not tonight. Tonight I mostly wanted to let that blogging world know I'm still here! Ha!!

Christmas and New Years are over with and quite frankly I'm glad for it. I've been so tired lately and no matter how much Vitamin B I take, I can't stay caught up on sleep. I'm almost to week 20 and I'm finally starting to show! Next week sometime we will get to find out what we are having. We are all hoping for a girl, but deep down inside I know it's a boy... Guess we will have to wait and see!

K man is sure getting big too. He can really say a lot of different words now, such as Hi and Bye! (Those are his favorite) He is really quite smart for a almost two year old... To smart for his own good. He loves helping me cook and do the laundry. Dare I get my hopes up about him helping me in the future? Crazy kid!

T is doing good too, just going along doing the things he does. They moved all ours cows off his country so now he spends his time riding through the replacement heifers closer to town. I think he enjoys it, but personally I would like to see cows back at the house.

I think this is all I really have energy for now.. I'm going to bed! Night!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

I'm Depressed

And no it’s not from the pregnancy hormones. It’s from our government.

When I was a little kid I thought what a great country we live in, how lucky are we? For some reason I always thought living in other countries would be terrible because of the cost of living and what not. You wouldn’t think it but Australia is a very hard place to live in. But as the days keep going by and Obama is in the office I’m beginning to think living in another country wouldn’t be so bad.

Did you know that you can be exempt from the yearly fee of not having insurance, which in 2014 will be 95$ per adult and 47.50$ per child, if you can't find a plan that is lower than or equal to 8% of your monthly income?

Confused? Ok, T and I make roughly $2100 per month with us both working. 8% of that is 168$. So if I can't find a health insurance plan that costs 168$ or less, I wouldn't have to pay the yearly fee for not having insurance.

Right now, T and I are paying 20% of our monthly income for insurance. Now, tell me what you would do??

Basically, we have decided not to have insurance and save the 400$ we are paying right now in case of emergencies and we will be filling for exemption on our 2014 tax return. That is, unless we can find a health insurance plan for 168$ or less. Yeah right....

We will not be one of those low lying individuals who don’t have insurance and need medical help then not pay their bills. Who says I can’t put that 400$ in the bank every month and have it on hand for emergencies? It’s not like we visit the doctor that often anyways. I’m not saying something won’t happen but why not? Seriously?

Recently my brother broke his leg and had to have surgery and you think that insurance would cover it. Oh yes, but not until my parents had to pay the 7500$ deductible they have. They spend more money per month on insurance than I do! And that’s a lot! Oh and not to mention the $1800 co-pay they had because insurance only covers 70% of procedures. So in reality they ended up spending $9300 plus what his medications costs, because again, insurance only covers 70% of medical costs.

So is insurance really all that great? That’s the big mystery!

To me it’s becoming as ridiculous as vehicle insurance is, or dental and vision. Dental and vision insurance is a complete joke!

A while back my dad had to go in and have some cancerous skin removed from his neck and just out of curiosity he asked the doctor how much it cost to pay cash for it. All the doctor could tell him was that he had insurance so it didn’t matter. She couldn’t even tell him! They are so used to using insurance companies it’s sickening!

I also so on the news the other day of how self-pay clinics are becoming more and more popular. Hmm.. I wonder why?

I want to do right by my family and provide the best for them but it’s hard when the government is screwing things up and making it more and more harder too live in America, the Land of the Free, the Home of the Brave. Well folks, it’s not free anymore. Obama really really wants to call martial law, I just know it, and there isn’t anyone brave enough to stand up to him.

I would really enjoy ya’lls inputs if you feel like it, I’m curious as to what other folks have to say…

So comment away!


P.S. I had a dream the other day, not a total dream but one of those I’m halfway conscious kinda dreams that we started a pray group and went to the capital and prayed around the white house. What would it hurt? It’s what they need…

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

New Beginnings

Before I even begin this blog post, I must warn you that there may be some very revealing things and if you don't want to read it, then don't.

Well, I don't know how many of you know but T and I are expecting our second baby. I'm 7 weeks 4 days today so I have a long ways to go... a long ways folks.

I was using FAM methods of birth control for a while and when we decided to try for number two I used those same methods and babam...

Unlike the first time, I didn't quite know if I was pregnant or not but peeing on a stick a few times quickly solved that mystery. We are very thrilled and are excited that everyone else is happy with it. With K man, it took some time to sink in for both my folks and T, but in the long run they can't get enough of him.

Here was the picture I used to show my folks

And T's folks

Ok, that being said, I started doing all the things necessary to get organized and have my first doctor appointment. I'm talking insurance mostly. I called my current insurance provider and explained my situation and they said "we don't cover maternity."

Well great, that's just great. Do you know what they told me to do??? Apply for Medicare.

Excellent, just exactly what I wanted to do. Ask the government for help. Umm... NO!

I remember a friend of mine saying something about wanting to use a midwife so I was curious and looked up midwives in West Texas. That's when I found the West Texas Midwife. Ha!

I picked over her website with a fine toothed comb and decided it might not hurt to give her a call and tell her about my situation. So I did, and.... she accepts self pay and in the long run, it would much cheaper than having a baby with my previous doctor without insurance. She also sounded like a really nice person which is important to me. She told me that she would give me a free consultation to help me decide if I wanted to use her or not. I had that consulation today.

After much prayer and consideration, T and I decided to go with the midwife. Now folks, she is a traveling midwife and this would mean that my next baby will be born in my home! How exciting is that!!

T was very skeptical at first but the idea is growing on him. I think it will be a much easier experience on the both of us.

She went over everything with me today of how things would work. Come to find out, she has so many clients in Alpine that I won't have to travel to Odessa except for the sonogram at 20 weeks. She will do everything in my home, blood pressure, weight gain, blood work, all that good jazz.

Now for the exciting part, I explained to her that with K and his big head, I tore something fierce down there and she told me a water birth would fix that. She told me that its more relaxing and not as painful so I'm thinking I will be going that route.

She gave me plenty of books to read and a list of nutrious things to be eating, if I can eat them at all... I'm pretty sure this one is a girl because so far it's been the total opposite of K man, and I've had morning sickness ALL DAY LONG every day.... But I haven't lost any weight.

We are very excited about all this and I'm really praying that everything goes well and that it will be the ultimate family bonding experience. I will be keeping ya'll updated as well!!!

I'm going to bed for now, before I pass out on the couch..... Night!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Wisdom Teeth

First of all, that is an understatement if I have ever heard one. I don't feel anymore wise than I did before my wisdom teeth grew in!

Second of all, I don't feel any dumber know that they are out....

I thought I would share my experience with my wisdom teeth, mainly because I'm sitting here on the couch and have nothing better to do.

It all started yesterday morning when my alarm clock went off. I knew immediately that this day would be very long and I was not looking forward to it AT ALL! But sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns and get stuff done.

The drive was excruciating, its a 3 1/2 hour drive to El Paso and when we got there, we were backed up in traffic. It was El Paso's first day of school so the interstate was packed.

Anyways, we get there and I had to sign a bajillion things and go over post op care and what not. Then they led me back to the little room, by myself nonetheless and hooked me up to blood pressure and heart monitor machines. No big deal right? right... I don't know why I started shacking, I guess I was just nervous and no matter how many times the little nurse gal said it was going to be alright, I still couldn't stop shaking. They even had to hold my arm down to get the IV in, which I didn't feel at all! They had numbed it before hand so that made it nice.

Well then the Dr. came in and asked if I was ready to get started. Umm, no.... I thought to myself. He gave me the light anesthesia and not 2 seconds later I felt amazing! My shaking at stopped completely and I thought to myself, I can handle this now! My plan was to put my headphones and go to sleep! That sure didn't happen....After I got my music going, and made sure it wasn't too loud to drown out the Dr. and the nurse, I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep! I tried people!!

They then proceeded to numb the inside of my mouth which I didn't feel and when I was good and numb, the Dr. asked me I was ready, again. I couldn't answer this time so a thumbs up had to do. This became they way I communicated with them since they had tools and fingers inside my mouth.

My music going, my eyes covered, and hands squeezing the arms rest of the chair, the Dr. pulled the first tooth. It was mostly out so it popped right out, no big deal! The Dr. asked if I was ok, thumbs up, and he stitched the hole together.

The second tooth wasn't so easy. This was the infected tooth and it was causing a little more trouble which caused the saw to come out. That's when I lost it, and there was nothing I could do about it. All I could do was cry, and people, I tried not to but it just happened. Bad experiences in the past where brought up when they used the saw to cut my tooth in half, then with a loud crack, it popped loose.

I guess they noticed I was tearing up because they asked me about it, and later I found out they thought it was from the anesthesia. It was not of course.

They stitched up the second hole and started on the third tooth, which also came right out and was sewn up in no time.

"Doing ok?" I was asked. Thumbs up. Then I heard the Dr. say "Lets wait to do the last one and see how she feels." If I could have something, it would of gone like this, "Heck no! Ya'll are getting ALL of these teeth out! No questions asked."

The nurse even went out and asked T about it and he simply told them that if they left that tooth, there was no way anyone was getting me back into the office to have it out later, and he was right.

By now the tears had stopped and I was just praying this would all be over and I could home. But, it took them longer to get the last tooth out than they had anticipated. It was the tooth turned sideways and that meant the saw came back out. I turned my music up..

Several pieces later, it was finally out and I was done, all sewed up and ready to get home
Thinking back on it, it was not the best experience but I have been through worse. I would have

preferred not to be awake, but it is what it is. I'm home now and the bleeding has stopped for the most part, and only one side of my face is swollen. The numbness didn't fully wear off until about 3 o'clock this morning either.

I'm just so glad I don't have to go through something like that EVER again.......

For some reason the picture flipped on me. The two whole teeth on the bottom are actually my top teeth and they ones in pieces are from the bottom.  

This was the infected tooth, the whole inside of it was rotted and nasty. And look at the hook on that thing! No wonder I wasn't feeling good...


Friday, July 19, 2013

All About K Man

Look at that little guy! He is getting so big! :( Makes his momma sad...

Love jumping on the trampoline with GG (Great-grandma)

Cool dude!

Already driving, and so serious about it too


Goofy kid, I couldn't get him to take those off! He wore them for an hour!

4th of July parade!

Stole Pops chair


Look what the rain has done to Alpine! It's incredible!

It hasn't been this green in a looonnngggggg time!! Yay!!
Have a blessed weekend!