It has been forever since I've blogged, like 3 months! I forget that I can get on here and rant and rave about stuff and it makes me feel better! Ha! Of course I have lots to catch ya'll up on, such as I'm as big as a house, or feel like it anyways.
I hit 33 weeks on Saturday, and am finally starting to show for real! Before it just depended on what I ate that day. It seems like time has flown by up until this point, and the next 7 weeks are going to drag on forever........
My midwife made it out to my house for the first time today. She was absolutely in love with the place and said how exciting this birth was going to be in such a cool, old house! I sure hope its exciting... I've been fretting over silly things for a couple of weeks now. Things I shouldn't even get worked up about. Like pain, for example. I know pain is part of it, there's no avoiding it. Unless you want to pump yourself full of drugs and numb yourself, even your memory. Umm.. no thanks.
Anyways, I remember the pain with K man and I think that is what has me worked up, the thought of having to go through it again. Of course, it wasn't pushing that was painful, it was getting to the point where I could push! My midwife assures me that I will be fine though.
I've really been reading up on this book called The Bradley Method. Out of the stack of books my midwife gave me to read, I think it's my favorite. It has relaxation methods in that I have been practicing and I really like so far! I will do one certain method at night where you lay on your side and don't let any part of your body touch another part and slowly go through your whole body releasing tension. It must work because every night I've practiced it I usually fall asleep not knowing it and wake up thinking about how I need to finish releasing tension!
My biggest fear at this point is that I won't be able to relax. When I was in labor with K man, the last few hours before I started to push were hard because I couldn't relax. I remember having a death grip on the side of the hospital bed and rocking back and forth. I really don't want to do that again, I want to be relaxed dang it! Being at home, and having soft lighting and only my husband and midwife around should help me relax. Or I hope it does.
The book also says that being mentally prepared helps tremendously! If I can mentally conquer my fears and relaxation techniques, I feel like I can have a successful birth! Now I just need to get my "coach," mentally prepared.. He has been slacking on the job! Ha!
I've also realized that I never wrote a birth story with K man, so I will definitely be doing that with miss T! I think I could write one for him, even two years later! Being pregnant has brought back all the memories so I think I'll go work on that.. :)
I'll try to post some pictures later of the past few months!