I am NOT mad!

Ok, maybe I am. I believe I have the right to be.

I just want to scream and pull my hair out, jump up and down like a little kid would.

Let's be civilized here, I am not very happy. I have 42 days till my wedding, MY wedding, and I'm having to help everybody else with their projects.

Granted, my parents did just move and I helped because I moved some of my stuff as well. We have been in the house a week and we still can't decide which way we want a picture to hang or where to put the tv. Really? Or how about a place to put an office.. Oh wait they can't do that because I'm living in it, at least for 42 more days.. So what do they do? Rearrange the living yet again to include a desk with multiple computers/printers on it.
How about having the Internet guy come and install a new router and modem so that we can have internet to run the business, in the living room. Apparently this was all done for my sake... I specifically remember telling my dad that I will be doing what I want to do today, which included finishing up the invitations for my reception. Did I get to do that? Why no I did not. After the internet guy left, I had to spend three hours working on the new router my father had just bought so that he didn't have to sit at the desktop, which is behind the tv for some reason. Instead he wanted his laptop to be connected wirelessly... Three hours people! So I know what I'm going to do tomorrow at work..
I just really don't care anymore. After moving my things into my new room... they are just laying there. Most of my stuff is out at the ranch, in boxes where I would much rather be right now putting things up and organizing. I have heaps of things in every corner because I don't care where they go or what they do. At least I don't have to listen to my mother telling me how I'm such a messy teenager, she can just shut the door.
On top of all that... I can't sleep! I take pills, read, do yoga on the floor and still I can't manage to sleep. It takes me about 3-4 hours just to fall asleep. I don't know what my problem is, but if I don't get a good nights sleep sometime soon, I will be mad.

I know I shouldn't be ranting and raving like I am but I needed to vent. I think T got tired of me venting to him.. he went to bed. I'm trying to be in a good mood and all but I'm finding it hard, mainly because I'm not getting much help planning my wedding/reception. Like I said, I don't really care anymore. My mother gave her notice at work on Monday and all she can think about is getting the house painted, cleaning it really good, and fixing up the yard.

Honestly, I don't think my parents want this wedding to happen. I know they don't. And honestly, I can't wait. For a while there my mom seemed all excited, making plans and coming up with ideas.. but not now. And dad, I can't even mention the date without him shutting me out, he's taking it pretty hard which is understandable, but it doesn't help me.

So T has to listen to me, poor guy. It's either that or talk to my cat which makes me look like a crazy person. She is surprisingly a good listener.